


Bernie & serena love

by LittleMissHolby



Category: Berena - Fandom, Bernie Wolfe - Fandom, Holby City, Serena Campbell - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-29
Updated: 2017-04-01
Packaged: 2018-10-12 13:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10492311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleMissHolby/pseuds/LittleMissHolby
Summary: From a blossoming friendship... to that little bit more





	1. Butterflies

First time writing a fan fic so any feedback would be great! 

Chapter 1

Butterflies

Beep...beep...beep  
The alarm clock screams out, waking Serena up from another deep sleep that only seemed to of been able to manage with the help of the evenings bottle of Shiraz. Another day ahead, broken bones, RTC's, surgery schedule fully packed, endless paperwork and the start of a new day with a new job title...  
'Serena Campbell, AAU co lead consultant'...  
Struggling with issues with Jason at home and with other struggles at the moment making the decision to reduce her working hours and co lead with Bernie Wolfe was a slight knock to the pride but sometimes something has to give.  
Serena threw the duvet back, eyed the time on the bedside alarm and quickly realised how late it was!  
"Ohh bugger!"  
Serena fumbled around, moaning and cursing along the way to herself  
"Today of all days!" " first day reducing my role responsibilities and I cant even get up on time" "come on Campbell, get it together"

............

Into the car park, through the doors, into the lift in record speed timing!  
Serena scanned her card and flew through AAU doors and straight into her office...  
"Sorry, I'm sorry" "i didn't sleep to well and well, needless to say I think me and the Shiraz had a not so healthy relationships last night"

"Ahh, good night?" Bernie asked...  
"Jason was out and I had a stack of paperwork I needed to get on with so as you can imagine I didn't get to bed till extremely late"

"Coffee?" Asked Bernie as she gazed across from her computer screen..  
"The language of love and music to my ears" Serena sarcastically replied..  
"Lets go"

Down at pulses the queue wasn't as long as usual, they were served in and out within a matter of minutes.  
"Shall we go outside" Bernie said as she drew her eyes to the cigarette packet in her hand  
"Still not quit?" Asking Serena  
"Like you have an unhealthy relationship with the Shiraz, my vice is this"  
Bernie didn't look to happy. Serena noticed the dull tone in her voice.  
"Something troubling you?" Serena asked cautiously.  
"It's Marcus, the kids, work," "pretty much everything that can be thrown at me IS being thrown at me from all dam directions and I'm struggling on how to manage it all"  
"I take it Marcus is well and truly playing dirty with the divorce?" Serena questioned  
"Something like that, he hates me, the kids hate me, I took this job here to save my marriage, to enjoy getting to know my kids again but it hasn't worked or the way I thought it may"  
"And Alex?..." Serena cautiously asked.  
"Alex and me would never of worked in 'the real world, we lived in a bubble, that bubble burst and now I'm living in another bubble of pretending I'm holding everything together and getting on with everything but to be honest Serena... I'm struggling..."  
Serena could see that Bernie was deeply effected and upset but noticed one thing... she fought! She fought to hold those tears in, to stop them from spilling out...  
That was Bernie all over, never one to show emotion, never one to look you direct in the eye.  
Bernie could feel Serenas eyes burning into her...  
"We better get back" Bernie exclaimed.  
Snapping back she up and went..  
"Oh Bernie" Serena whispered under her breath. She followed her into the hospital and up onto AAU  
AAU was pretty quiet today, everything was running like clockwork, paperwork was slowly but surely getting filled in. Serena however found herself looking out the office into the ward staring at Bernie. Watching how she moved, spoke, her mannerisms, everything was very routine, very scheduled. Serena cared deeply for Bernie, as a trusted colleague and the close friendship they had developed.  
Bernie returned to the office, papers in hand looking clearly worn out.  
"You ok?" Serena asked as Bernie sat down at her desk ready to tackle her next tasks  
"Tired, it's been a pretty long day" Bernie answered  
"Drink?" Suggested Serena  
"Coffee... No... double whiskey, yes!" Bernie replied with a smirk.  
"we've done all necessary work for today so let's leave everything else till tomorrow, I've just got to go see Hansen with this presentation he needs for tomorrow's meeting with the board and then I'm all yours!" Replied Serena  
"All mine eh?!" Bernie exclaimed with sarcasm  
And that was when it hit Serena...  
'All hers!' 'Me with her' 'her with me' the thought made Serena somewhat blush but slightly nervous In a school girl kind of way..  
"All yours!" Serena nervously replied.

........

"Double whiskey for me and a glass of red for this delightful lady" Bernie said to the barman while nudging Serena.  
That closeness was like fire! Serena all of a sudden felt pretty dam nervous, this woman who she always had quite the working relationship with had suddenly ignited something inside her.  
"You ok?" Bernie asked Serena noticing serenas sudden quiteness  
"Me... yes... I'm fine... ok..I'm ok...just been a long day"  
"How are you now... after our chat outside?" Asked Serena, quickly turning the focus off her.  
"Well I can't change what's going to happen with the divorce or even try and make my kids more involved so I'm just going to ride this ship through the rough storm and hope it doesn't sink along the way"  
"I'll drink to that" said serena, raising her glass to meet Bernies.  
As they both took a sip from their glasses they glanced at each other over the rim. "Right I better be off, Jason will be back soon and i have a date night with a bath full of bubbles and a very early night!" Chuckled Serena. 

 

........

The bath was filling, the candles were lit and Serena felt pretty worn out. Just as she was about to step into the bath...  
Brrrp brrrp  
Her phone vibrated...  
MESSAGE FROM BERNIE WOLFE

'thank you for today  
Bernie x

'anytime Bernie, always here for you'

Serena could feel the flutters in her stomach...  
"What the hell is wrong with you Campbell!!" She shouted to herself! 

"She's a bloody woman and you are not a lesbian!" She said as she looked in the mirror as if asking for approval or answers from her reflection.

After precisely 47 minutes of relaxing in the bath Serena got herself dressed and headed to the kitchen pouring a glass of wine And peering into the fridge to find something to snack on. She sat at the breakfast bar and opened her phone just to stare at Bernies message... over analysing every letter...

And then her phone vibrated again, before her eyes Bernie had messages her again.

'Are you still awake Serena?' 

'Yes, everything ok?' Serena quickly typed back

'i need to talk to you'

'.... erm.... ok... when?' Typed Serena puzzled.

'CAn I call you now?' 

'Of course' 

Serena stares at the phone as Bernies name flashed up... she answered after a few rings not to make it to obvious that she had been waiting impatiently for it to ring

"Bernie?"

"Ahhh Miss Campbell" said Bernie in a rather sarcastic joyous way 

"Have you been drinking Ms Wolfe?" Serena asked 

"Maybe a couple... I think... or one or two" "I can't remember... in fact I can't even remember why I wanted to talk to you Serena...."

"Bernie are you ok? This isn't like you? What's happened?"

"You Serena... you are what's happened, the way you make me feel so much better, the way you have my back and look out for me, the way you make me feel when you look at me with those beautiful brown eyes of yours..."

Serena found herself breathless, completely taken aback by Bernies honesty even if it was drink fuelled. To hear those words out of Bernies mouth made Serena feel pretty vulnerable

"Bernie I'll always have your back, we do have quite the working relationship Ms Wolfe, do you not think you should get yourself into bed, it will be you tomorrow complaining of a late night rather than me!"

" I can't go to bed as I'm not at home" Bernie explained

"Where are you?" Serena was concerned

"Well Ms Campbell if you open your front door then I could probably tell you in person" Bernies giggled

Serena for a few seconds hadn't a clue what Bernie was going on about, just how much had this woman drunk... 

'Knock knock'

Serena ran through her kitchen into the hallway, unbolted the door and flung it open and there stood on her doorstep was a soaking wet Bernie, phone in one hand, bottle in the other

"Jesus Bernie! What are you doing here?! Never mind that your soaking! Come in!"  
Serena ushered Bernie into the kitchen 

"Serena I needed to see you, I need to talk to you"

"No Bernie first thing you need is coffee!" Serena grabbed a towel from the freshly washed laundry and threw one at Bernie which she caught and placed on her lap .

Serena made a coffee, two sugars, threw the spoon in the sink, turned around to hand it to her drunken friend to see Bernie sobbing into her hands.

"Oh Bernie... talk to me what's happened?" "This isn't you, well at least a side I haven't seen"

Serena sat On a bar stool opposite Bernie and placed her hand on Bernies lap. If Bernie didn't want to talk or answer questions then Serena just wanted to make sure that she knew she was there... and waiting when she was ready.  
Bernie looked up and her swollen red tear stained eyes met serenas.

"I've got these feelings for you Serena" " I don't know how, I certainly don't know why, I miss you when your not near me, j miss the sound of your sarcastic witty tone, and I had to tell you. I like you... no... I more than like you... and to be honest I don't know what to do about it anymore"

Serena froze.... not only in complete fear of what to answer with but everything Bernie just said was EXACTLY how she felt about the woman in front of her. 

"I.... I don't know what to say Bernie"  
"It's ok I don't ever expect you to say or feel the way I do but I just had to tell you! I've spent my entire life running from problems and it's cost me my marriage, my kids. I'm tired of running so I had to be honest"

"With the help of your friend Jack Daniels?" Serena asked sarcastically

"Ahaha laughed Bernie... There she goes with her witty one liners"

Serena smiled as Bernie smiled at her, their eyes burning into each other

It's now or never Serena thought, if there was any time to put the feelings Serena has for Bernie to the test then this was it... now or never...

Serena held Bernies jaw in her hands and lent forward, her lips met Bernies as Bernie held serenas waist. Deep, passionate, hungry kisses... they pulled away and instantly Serena was hit with complete fear...  
there was no going back, she had not only just kissed her working partner but she was A WOMAN!  
"You need to go!" Serena snapped as she jumped off the bar stool.  
"Sere....."  
"No Bernie... I can't do this ... I can't do this now... I'm sorry... you need to go please... I've got a busy day tomorrow and I need to get some sleep and you do to, trust me you'll thank me in the morning"

With that Bernie walked towards the front door, opened it and took a glance back at Serena who instantly looked to the ground...  
"See you tomorrow" whispered Bernie as she shut the door behind her.

Serena let out a gasp and raised her hand to her mouth feeling the rawness of her lips where Bernies had been a few seconds before...  
What have I just done?, she thought  
With that she turned off the lights and went upstairs to bed

The next morning pulling into the car park at the hospital Serena homes in on. Bernies car,  
She's in there, in our office, what am I going to do, say, where do I look, where don't I look?  
Jeez Campbell how could I have allowed this to happen? She thought to herself.

Pulling her visor mirror down and checking her make up one last time she stared at herself

"Lets face the music" she said and off she went up to AAU to face the woman she kissed in her kitchen and then threw out...  
How was she going to explain this one?


	2. About last night

"Morning Serena" a jolly voice shouted.  
"Morning Fletch, how are we on this fine morning?" She said, trying to disguise the fact that she was undoubtedly nervous about entering the office but at the same time replying loud enough to make sure if Bernie was nearby she would hear Serenas presence and somehow warn her in advance to help her reaction on meeting face to face.

"Well we have a gentlemen in bay 4 with a broken fibula, a lady in bay 2 who has suffered a pretty nasty laceration to her lower abdomen and an elderly gentlemen in bay 6 who has taken a shine to Ms Wolfe" said fletch ever so matter of factly.

"Ms Wolfe around?" Questioned Serena ever so cautiously.  
"She's gone to see Hanssen but should be back soon, she's been a while as it is" replied fletch, completely unaware that Serenas need to find out where Bernie was had nothing to do with work but merely avoidance.

Serena entered the office, removed the strap of the bag off her shoulder and placed it on the floor, logged into the computer and started the day catching up on endless emails.  
She kept her eyes on the screen but ears listening for everything and everyone around her, she wanted to be completely ready for when Bernie returned to AAU and face the morning after the night before.

Emails  
-funding applications: DrCromwell  
-press release: Dr Borland  
-trauma funding: Hansen  
-Berenice wolfe resignation??: Hansen

Serena stared at the words as if she was questioning her reading this right?! She had an email off Hansen questioning Bernies resignation?! What resignation! 

Serena opened the email:

Miss Campbell  
I have received this morning a letter of resignation from Berenice Wolfe.  
now I have explained that I cannot force her to stay if she does not wish to however I had hoped you could possibly encourage Ms Wolfe to reconsider her decision and make her aware that her expertise is very much needed and appreciated here. 

Henrik Hansen

Serena felt her stomach drop.. those butterflies she once had were now like dead moths!

"Ahhh Ms Wolfe, your back" she heard morven say ever so loudly... Serena wasn't quite sure if that was for Bernies benefit or Serenas but then morven wouldn't be aware of what had happened the previous night unless Bernie has said something.... no... she wouldn't.... would she? 

The door flung open to the office suddenly making Serena jump.  
"Oh.... morning" Bernie said hesitantly as she went and sat in her chair.

Serena sat in front of her screen pretending to read emails, whilst feeling the tension in the office and wondering how or what she should say.

'Do I bring up the resignation?' She thought  
'Do I bring up last night?' ...

"Fletch said you went to see Hansen? Serena questioned... what's his issue this time"? She asked trying to fish for the information. 

"Well I suppose I better tell you, I owe you that much at least" Bernie said quietly not even looking in Serenas direction and completely unaware that Serena knew exactly what words were gonna leave Bernies mouth.

"I've handed in my resignation and ric is looking into getting me transferred to another hospital"

If The dead moths in Serenas stomach before were anything to go by then, now they were well and truly decomposing..  
Serena felt sick....

"Oh... any particular reason?" Hoping that would somehow start a conversation up about last night.

"I just think a fresh start is good... for me... for everyone"  
"Listen bern..."  
"Can't talk now, I've got a lot to get on with" said Bernie pretty coldy as she upped and left the office.

Serena felt awful, she made the move on Bernie, then flung her out her house and now because of this, her close friend and colleague feels the need to leave. If Serena felt bad before... this was even worse

Brrp brrp  
Bernies phone vibrated, she unlocked her screen and seen a message from Serena 

'We need to talk Bernie about last night'

Bernie replied pretty fast

'No need, what's done is done, just forget about it, I shouldn't of turned up the way I did and said what I said'

Even if they did talk about last night, would it really change Bernies decision to leave?  
is that what this was? Bernies way of making her feel guilty? 

Serena unlocked her phone and took a chance

' Bernie I don't want you to leave, what you said last night is how I feel as well, I panicked after I kissed you. I kissed you because that's what I wanted to do in that moment but then anything that would follow after, I wasn't really thinking... I really don't want you to leave, I can't change your mind but I would like the opportunity to try and at least explain things properly without this tension between us'

Serenas phone vibrated no sooner after

Shift finishes at 7pm, talk in the office then,ok?' 

Serena sighed a little and replied with a simple 'ok, see you then'


	3. Facing reality

7pm came... serena sat nervously waiting in the office.  
Thinking over and over in her head what she would say, how she would say it. What the hell happened?! 24 hrs ago everything was fine! Serena had her work life together, home life together, everything running pretty smoothly and now she was sat here feeling immensely guilty that her close friend who made it clear already that she was struggling with issues with her ex, her kids feels the need to resign and start again because of a stupid drunken incident and now Serena was questioning wether she really had her own shit together and questioning if she was a lesbian, experimenting or merely confused being a middle aged woman who had developed such a closeness that she couldn't explain or recognise.

The door to the office opened and in Bernie walked. Dressed in skin tight black trousers and a crisp white fitting blouse.

Serena stared briefly at her and saw her in a completely different light! 

"How's your day been" she asked Bernie, hoping this would start the ball rolling of the awkward conversation they both clearly needed to have.

"Not to bad, better than I expected, even with a dull head caused by my own stupidity" acknowledge Bernie

BOOOM... THERE IT WAS!!!  
The gateway to the conversation opened well and truly up like hell had just opened its gates!

"We need to talk about last night, don't we?" Serena spoke carefully...

"Yes... yes I think we do" said Bernie looking at her desk whilst nervously twiddling her fingers in her lap.

"If you resigning is because of what happened last night then you really don't need to, your a valued asset to our team Bernie! I don't want things to change"

Bernie looked up "but things have changed, we've gone from being close friends to not being able to look at each other through awkwardness and as much as I would love to stay and carry on as before, things have been said, things have been done and it's ok to pretend it didn't happen but it did" said Bernie honestly.

Serena pulled a chair next to Bernies desk.  
Serena hesitated... " I kissed you because I wanted to, I don't know why and I can't even try and explain it, all I know is I seen you sat there crying and it was an instant reaction"  
"and if I hadn't of told you how I felt would you of still done it?" Bernie questioned  
"I don't know, I honestly cannot answer that bernie"  
"I don't want you to leave me... holby... leave holby" Serena quickly corrected herself but Bernie got into it straight away.  
"Holby or you Serena" Bernie enquiried

"Me...... I don't want you to leave me" Serena answered her honestly. Her cheeks were flushed and embarrassment was about to take over. 

Bernie stared at Serena intently and Serena could feel her pulse racing, hear it in her ears...  
Serena held her hand out to Bernie "please stay.... for me"  
Bernie held her hand and stroked her fingers... "we need to have a conversation about all this in a more comfortable setting don't you think?" Bernie suggested.  
"Yes we do" Serena smiled 

"It's been a long day, do you fancy grabbing a bottle and take out and go back to mine?" Serena asked. 

"That sounds like a plan" agreed Bernie as she smiled in return

"I presume you don't need directions to my house?!" Smirked Serena after Bernies sudden appearance the night before.  
"If I can find your home while 60% of my blood was whiskey then I can sure find it 100% sober" she smirked.

"You can follow behind me, I've just got to pass these files onto fletch and then we are good to go" Serena explained, feeling much more relieved that they had at least managed to break the silence and start the important task of discussing recent events.

Serena put the key in the ignition and set off, followed closely by Bernie. Serena looked in her rear view at Bernie behind the wheel of her car and noticed how beautiful she really did look. Her loose blonde hair that she kept tucking behind her ears, her skin tone and her rosy cheeks... she really was quite beautiful and Serena felt more drawn to her than ever.  
'I need her' Serena thought  
'In fact ... I want her'


	4. Cards on the table Campbell

Serena pulled into her driveway followed by Bernie... she quickly checked herself in her mirror before grabbing her bag and exiting her car...

"Found it ok then?!" Serena smirked as she spoke to Bernie

"Aha... well when you drive as slow as you Serena i couldn't exactly lose you in holbys traffic, god forbid you have to exceed over 40mph" Bernie joked

"Well unless you want to be treating me as your next patient I am quite fine with sticking to road limits Ms Wolfe" she replied sarcastically.

Bernie loved Serenas wit and quick humour, it's what makes her stand out the way she does.

serena opened the front door and walked in the hallway, followed by Bernie. 

"Is the kettle going on or the corkscrew coming out?" Asked Bernie 

"Do you really need to ask me that?" "How long have you known me" asked Serena with a smirk and raised eyebrow 

Putting their bags on the floor they entered the kitchen. Bernie rested against the breakfast bar watching Serena grab a bottle of red and two huge glasses... 

"Have you spoke to Hansen?" Serena asked soothly hoping not to rock the boat too much but enter into the conversation sooner rather than later so to avoid awkward silences.

"Not yet" Bernie replied whilst looking at the floor, arms crossed

Serena handed her a the glass, Bernie clasped it with both hands.

"Heard anymore from Marcus?" Serena asked quickly trying to slowly divert away from the impending confessions but starting at the beginning of why Bernie was feeling pretty shitty.

" oh yea I've heard from him alright, constant text messages, colourful language, you know how it is" she explained

"Calling you all sorts is he?" Asked Serena  
"The colourful language is on my part... the majority of my texts end with ..OFF" she smirked

"I came here to work on my marriage but I realised pretty soon that no amount of working close to home was going to change the distance that was already between us. Our marriage was over long before.... before Alex came along"  
"In the army it's a whole different world, day in day out you see things you never think you would, you support each other, Alex supported me and I her... we became close, she was my best friend and then we got blown up by the IED and reality threw me here, to holby... to the dead marriage. Married for 25 years you feel like you have to try with every last breath to make it work... and I've tried... I've really tried... there was nothing left to save anymore"

Serena could see the mental and physical pain this had put on her... 

"I work all the time Serena, I go home to an empty house, I'm tired" 

Serena sat on a bar stool and Bernie too, they both had their glasses in front of them, Serena for the first time was taken aback at how vulnerable Bernie really was. This big macho army medic really was a different person away from work, away from people. 

" I'm always here for you bern you know that" whispered Serena 

" look where that got us" grinned Bernie

" ah... yes well I am sorry, truly I am for they way I reacted"  
" it's not something I do... or have done... I don't make a habit of kissing work colleagues. Let alone women" Serena could feel her cheeks blushing... 

"Is that what the problem is?" Asked Bernie raising her eyebrow

"Because I'm a woman?" Bernie asked

" I don't know, I've never kissed a woman before, let alone feel the way I do about a woman the way I feel for you" 

" I know that I don't want you to leave holby because of the other night, that I am completely sure, even if the other night hadn't occurred I still wouldn't want you to go. Since you came into AAU you have really made it a success especially with the trauma unit, seeing your passion and dedication, and our friendship... we are so close Bernie I just didn't want to ruin that"  
"I panicked when I kissed you, not because of you, but because of me" 

"That old cliche" piped up Bernie 

" it's the truth though, and I owe you that at least, because of my fear, fear of starting something that I didn't and still don't fully understand" 

Bernie could sense Serena really was struggling to explain herself and the way she felt 

"How about we toast to our friendship inside and out of work... and we say no more about it?" Bernie said raising her glass to initiate a toast.

"You want to forget it happened then?" Serena quizzed 

" I know I don't want to hurt you Serena or put you in a difficult position because I can see it really is making you feel uncomfortable but I'm sure as two grown mature women we can keep this between us and call it a mid life crisis" Bernie smirked

Serena smiled staring into Bernies eyes... 

"I'll drink to that" Serena raised her glass 

"I don't know about you but my belly thinks my throats cut" Serena quickly piped up trying to divert conversation 

"With a scalpel?" Bernie joked...

"Chinese or Indian?" Asked Serena 

"Ohhh decisions, decisions lets go with Chinese" Bernie suggested "but we stick to one bottle of wine, I've got that meeting tomorrow with the board to discuss the trauma bay funding as well as a presentation to put together so I need a good strong head" Bernie said lifting the bottle off the side and drawing Serenas eyes to it.

bernies phone rang...

"Oh look the devil himself decides to ring" Bernie said showing Serena her phone

MARCUS CALLING

"You going to answer?" Asked Serena as she pottered about the kitchen

"Should I? Is it really worth it? Is there anything he can say or do that he hasn't already?" 

The phone stopped ringing.  
"Maybe he wants to confess his undying love for you again!" Serena said jokingly 

"Or call me a home wrecker, a whore, a lesbian freak again" 

Bernies phone rang again...

"Pass it here" Serena said holding her hand out...

Bernie handed her the phone

"Hello this is Bernies phone I'm sorry she isn't here right now to take a message because she is currently under the influence of alcohol and in the company of a middle aged woman who is currently undergoing a lesson in how the mechanics of lesbian sex work, now if you don't mind us lesbian freaks need some time alone so ring again and I swear I'll make sure I cut your balls off with a rusty scalpel and turn them into god dam earrings.... do I make myself clear!" Serena said  
Bernie had her hand covering her mouth trying so hard not to laugh...  
"Ms Campbell, you do have a wicked sense of humour" 

"What can I say? I have a passion for ex husbands who still think they have the god given right to invade in the personal space of those they wish to divorce" "he has no need to call you, to speak to you..."

Serena could feel the jealousy inside, she was jealous as hell! 

"Right food!" Serena said as she grabbed a take out menu trying to divert attention away hoping Bernie wouldn't notice this sudden jealous streak in her

Bernie was still chuckling away at what just happened...  
"Nice to see that smile again" Serena said reassuringly 

"It's nice to smile again" said Bernie


	5. And so it starts

Knock knock

"Food has arrived" exclaimed Serena & wide eyed like a starved child.

Serena grabbed the food, paid the driver and entered the kitchen. Bernie started unwrapping all the individual containers whilst Serena grabbed the plates and cutlery 

"Ohhhh smells delicious" Serena said whilst sniffing the air, "lets tuck in"

The pair of them sat and ate... you would think they hadn't eaten for days! Working the hours they had been really did leave little time to sit and have time to have proper home cooked meals or at least a hot meal on time... 

Once they had finished, they scraped their plates and placed them in the sink..

"You wash, ill dry?" Bernie suggested  
"Deal" Serena replied

"Your phones been silent since 'he who shall not be named' rang, do you think he will call or the message?"

Bernie smiled "well, you either have scared him off and he doesn't want to risk being mutilated or he doesn't want to interrupt our lessons on the 'mechanisms of lesbian sex, wasn't that what you said?" Bernie quizzed 

"I didn't know what else to say, you said he called you a lesbian freak and to be honest that really pissed me off! It's 2017 for Christ sake and we still have judgemental, closed minded people like THAT! Who cares what he thinks you can be with who you want to and be what you want to, you don't need his approval or permission as long as your happy it's your life to live!!"

"And breathe Serena..." Bernie said suggestively 

Serena blushed, she had rather just gone off on a rant but that was her at the best of times... speaks her mind and then thinks after it. 

"So the same woman who is standing here saying there is nothing wrong with loving a woman and I don't need anyone's approval to be happy is the same woman that questions her own sexuality and worries so much about how you feel because for once you took a chance and kissed a woman?" Bernie smirked

"That again!" Serena rolled her eyes "wasn't it you that said we should raise a toast and say no more about it!" She reminded her

"Yes that's very true Ms Campbell but I enjoy watching you reel in complete horror in a twisted sort of wAy" Bernie laughed

The night went on... and the rule Of one bottle went right out the window! They both were still sat in the kitchen, lights were dimmed, take away smell still lingering in the air and they both filled the room with laughter, telling stories from each other's past, finding out things about each other.

"I'm gonna go outside for a cigarette " Bernie explained as she jumped off the bar stool and headed towards the patio door.  
"And to think you give people the 'no smoking' spiel day in day out and here you are about to poison your lungs"

Bernie handed the packet to Serena  
"Want one?"

"Hell yes!!" Exclaimed Serena 

"Ms campbell, you rebel!"  
"Takes one to know one ms Wolfe" Bernie Serena said raising her brows with a coy smile 

" it's a nice evening tonight" Bernie said as she gazed up to the dark night sky staring at twinkling stars and feeling the breeze..  
"You're right there, calm and peaceful, there is nothing quite like it after the daily rush and panic of work" Serena said as she inhaled on her cigerette.

"You actually look pretty hot ms campbell watching you stand there with that cigarette in your hand" Bernie smirked 

"I could say the same about you Ms Wolfe, with or without the fag!" 

Bernie and Serena stared into each other's eyes, both smirking, both staring intently as of to figure out what the other was thinking.. 

Serena held her hand out in front of Bernie, Bernie took her hand quizzing what she was doing. Serena then threw her cigarette on the floor and held out her other hand. Bernie had a confused look on her face but followed suit. She reached out to hold her other hand not sure what was going on but went with it... before Bernie knew it Serena pulled her in close and kissed her, kissed her in a way that was completely unexpected and exciting. Serena cupped her hand on Bernies face as their lips enfolded, tongues wrapping around each other's, their cold noses rubbing against each other from the brisk air. Bernie threw Serena against the patio door, passion and desire had just completely taken over the both of them.  
"Serena I don't want to make you feel uncomfo....."  
"Sshhhh" Serena said whilst placing her finger over Bernies mouth to silence her... I made the move... and I do not feel uncomfortable... in fact I've never felt more comfortable... now if it's ok with you Ms Wolfe I really would like to carry on what we have started but less talking" "no problem there" Bernie quickly replied before pushing up against serena, the sounds of moans from both these women was pretty dam intense...  
"Bedroom now...." Serena demanded  
"Show me the way Ms Campbell"

Serena opened the patio door and led the way holding Bernies hand behind her guiding her the way, Serena grabbed the half bottle of wine off the side and drinking it from the bottle whilst turning around looking at Bernie with the most desirable, sexual, seductive look ever which ignited the fire in Bernie

With that they both headed upstairs, like two giggly school kids, no nerves between them just a desire and need to please the other...

The night has just started...


	6. True beauty from within

BANG!!!  
Serena and Bernie literally fell through the bedroom door like a pair of giggly kids.

"Wow Ms Campbell, your room is beautiful!" Bernie said completely mesmerised.  
"Is that your best chat up line?" Serena laughed  
" I just wasn't expecting it to look like this"  
Bernie scanned the room... everything was off white, shabby chic... the most elegant double bed with perfectly ironed bed covers, stripped back old floorboards stained white with sheepskin rugs scattered... a beautiful dresser with lights around the mirror... nothing out of place... a far cry from Bernies home...  
"It's like your own little piece of serenity in here, feels very calming" Bernie glanced at Serena who was looking intently at her...  
"What?" Bernie asked  
"I bring you upstairs and you are more interested in my home decor" Serena laughed  
"When you know someone or work with someone you have kind of an idea about what their home is like and I just didn't expect it"  
" well what did you expect? A plastic skeleton in the corner and medical journals scattered everywhere or empty bottles of wine covering my floor with the odd empty cardboard coffee cup thrown in for good measure?"  
"Actually yes!" Bernie said laughing  
Serena took Bernies hand " are we really doing this?" She asked nervously...  
"Talking decor?" She joked  
"You know what I mean!!" Serena said wanting reassurance

"I want whatever you want Serena, as long as it makes you happy!"  
"I want you Bernie, i didn't know what I wanted but the thought and prospect of you leaving made me realise I could never feel the same again if you left." Serenas eyes were glazing over... tears slowly filling them... Bernie held her hands and pulled her close, both their hearts were racing, their breathing erratic... Serena wasn't sure if it was nerves or excitement but what she did know is she could never remember a time of feeling like this with anybody.. 

Bernie stroked Serenas face just as a tear fell and rolled down her cheek. Bernie wiped it away with her finger...  
"Please don't cry... you were happy before, I seem to have this effect on you" Bernie joked..  
"I'm not sad bern, I'm happy, happy standing here with you and feeling this way about you. You are a wonderful, beautiful, caring, kind human being Bernie Wolfe and I'm so glad I have met you. 

Bernie held Serenas head in her hands and kissed her forehead, then her cheek whilst nuzzling into her and then proceeded down to her mouth.  
Feeling Bernies kisses made Serenas whole body melt. Serena wrapped her arms around Bernie as their kisses became intense. 

"Bernie... how... do... I....we..."  
Bernie pulled away looking at Serena quizzing her  
"What's wrong Serena?"

"Oh jeez well if I didn't feel like a school kid before I sure do now, this is embarrassing!"  
"Embarrassed about....?" Bernie wondered  
"Us ... me and you... because unless you forgot I've never been with a woman before and this isn't something I would know HOW to do.... if you catch the drift?"  
"Aaahhhhhhh" Bernie said smirking  
"So you didn't learn anything from your lessons before in the mechanisms of lesbian sex?" Bernie said laughing which put Serena right at ease...  
"Well pretty much so, yes"

"Don't worry about all of that Serena, we don't need to rush anything, or try or do anything your not comfortable with, there really isn't any rush... just being here with you is enough for me anything else is a bonus... I'm just as nervous as you, you know, I may of been with one women but that doesn't make me a fully knowledgeable person in the 'mechanisms of lesbian sex' besides Bernie added "it's been a while... man or woman" she smiled...  
"Really?" Serena exclaimed pretty surprised  
"Er yes... really! My sex life has been that non existent for that long that even my G spot has been marked a historical landmark!"  
Serena burst out laughing... they both did!  
"Well I didn't expect that from you, your usually the serious one"  
"I do have a sense of humour Serena, I can't always be this stern, straight faced ex army bore you know"  
"I wouldn't call you a bore at all, mysterious yes, but not a bore... I find your mysterious side rather attractive ms Wolfe"

Serena kissed Bernie softly, gripping her waist and pulling her close..

"I... don't...want...this feeling..., to ever...end " Serena said in between soft kisses

"It won't, I promise you"  
"This is the start of a beautiful thing Serena" 

"Lets go to bed" Serena said taking Bernies hand and leading her to the bed...  
"Lead the way....."


	7. Changing winds

Beep.... beep...beep  
That alarm clock next to Serenas bed screamed loudly, piercing the quietness around them.

Serena flung the duvet back, turned it off and rolled over.

There she was.... Bernie Wolfe ... in her bed... staring back at her!

"Morning Ms Campbell" Bernie moaned in her deep husky voice.  
"Ugh.... is it morning?! Hand me the bullets so I can shoot myself straight between the eyes" Serena groaned.

Bernie giggled "not feeling great?"  
"Nothing a jug of caffeine won't cure" Serena replied

"That aside Serena, how are you feeling about last night?"

Serena stared into Bernies eyes, feeling this immense overwhelming feeling of pride that she had Bernenice Wolfe... IN HER BED! 

"I feel happy, like a new book has been opened and it's time to fill the chapters and write our own story"

Bernie smiled "Campbell's Chronicles, kind of has a ring to it" Bernie joked  
"Are you laughing at me Ms Wolfe?" Serena said with a raised eyebrow

"Me?.... never!" Bernie said smugly

"Campbell's crusades" Bernie reeled off  
"Serenas sassy serenades"

"Yes.... ok ok... have your fun Ms Wolfe" Serena said pulling the duvet back and sitting up.

"we need coffee" Serena said getting out the bed and pulling her robe on. Bernie jumped out of bed. Serena could see in the mirror Bernies reflection from behind her, Bernie in her underwear!  
'Avert your eyes campbell' she thought to herself

"Have you got a spare robe or t shirt I could throw on Serena?"  
"Yes... yes" she quickly piped going to her wardrobe and pulling out a matching white robe and handing it to her.

"Matching eh?" Bernie noted  
"Actually there stolen" Serena said cheekily  
" care to explain?" Bernie said really interested in the explanation to follow.

"Me and Elenor went to a spa weekend a few months back, oh the luxury! We set each other challenges and guess who got the challenge of robe robber?!" 

"Ms Campbell... never had you down as a risk taker" Bernie said surprised by this small revelation 

"Well You know me Bernie" she said looking at Bernie with deep intent.  
"Maybe I just need to take risks a bit more, after all you never know what could happen at the end" 

"Am I a risk?" Bernie whispered as she took Serenas hand

"Your a risk I'm willing to take" Serena said smiling like a school kid

Bernie took Serenas hand and kissed it gently.

"Come on" Serena said eyeing the door "lets go get some coffee and tackle this day the best we know how" Serena shouted back to Bernie who was following behind her as they walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The early morning sun illuminated the kitchen worktops, Serena filled the kettle, opened the cupboards took out 2 black coffee cups. 

"Feels strange doesn't it?" Bernie said behind her  
Serena turned around to see Bernie sat on the breakfast bar stool.  
"Us.... like this... " Bernie said glancing around 

"Well I don't make a habit getting involved in extra curricular activities with work colleagues, but I can make an exception" Serena sarcastically replied 

"How are we going to do this, this morning?"  
Serena looked at Bernie confused... "do this...??"

"Work.... us...." 

"Work is work and my private life is my private life Bernie, nobody needs to know anything... yet" 

"Yet?" Bernie quizzed...  
"Well this isn't a quick fling for me and I presume it's not for you so eventually people will need to know, but for now everything is so new and I don't want anybody to get in the way of that, let's just enjoy us for the time being" Serena said placing her hands on Bernies lap..

Bernie held Serenas hands staring at her deeply  
"Serena..." Bernie whispered in her deep husky voice  
"Ive just thought of something!" Bernie looked serious and this made Serena feel uneasy!  
"What... what is it?" Serena quickly asked feeling rather nervous as what was to come next

"SERENAS SEXY LITTLE SECRETS!"  
Bernie piped up laughing clearly revelling in the look of horror on Serenas face thinking that Bernie was about to say something disastrous which could ruin this perfect divine moment!

"Oh... ha .... ha ... ha Ms Wolfe" Serena sarcastically replied quite dryly

" what time are you in today bern?"  
"8:30... you?" Bernie quizzed  
"9am on the dot!" Serena stated as she eyed the time on the kitchen clock.

" we better get moving, I need to go back to mine, get showered and dressed.. I really don't think our colleagues will appreciate me turning up in yesterday's clothes"  
"That's one way to get the jungle drums drumming loud!" Serena joked.

Bernie gathered her belongings, bag, coat and headed towards the door turning around to see Serena standing there staring at her with the cutest little smile.

"I suppose I'll see you soon Ms Campbell?" 

"Yes... yes you will" Serena replied blushing and rather excited at the thought of spending the whole day with her closest friend and new love interest. Bernie got in her car and reversed out the driveway, just before she pulled away she gave Serena a little wave and blew her a kiss. Serena copied Bernies actions as she watched Bernie drive off.  
Serena shut the door and leant against it feeling her self grinning from ear to ear as she caught a glimpse of herself in the hallway mirror.

"Oh Campbell! Pull yourself together" she said at her reflection

Off she went upstairs, feeling as happy as she could possibly feel, quick dive in the shower, make up applied, dressed, quick spray of her delightful fragrance and out the door she went. 

"morning Ms Wolfe!' Fletch shouted as Bernie walked in through AAU doors  
"Morning fletch, everything ok this morning? She asked  
"Running like a well oiled machine as usual!"

"I've got some paperwork to do this morning for the trauma funding and presentation later so if you need me I'll be in the office" Bernie said as she walked off noting how everything was running in AAU 

In the office Bernie was ready to tackle this presentation paperwork head on.  
No sooner had she started the office door opened.

Her eyes met Serenas, both feeling nervous and shy all of a sudden  
"Morning" Serena said smiling  
"Good morning to you!" Bernie replied with a smirk.

"Feeling more awake?" Bernie asked clearing referencing the early morning wake up

"Oh you know me Ms Wolfe, I like to set an example" 

"right time to crack on today! Are you coming into theatre later for Mr Whitcombes op?" 

"Ah yes I've already cleared my schedule for this afternoon after I sort this funding out with Hansen" Bernie said as she was typing away..

'Knock knock' on the office door

"Yes?" Piped up Serena

In walked Hansen, "morning ladies"  
"Morning" they both said in unison

"How are you getting on with your presentation ms Wolfe?... everything running on time?!"  
"Oh you know me Henrik, head down and cracking on"  
"I didn't expect anything less" nodded Hansen

"Ms Campbell...."  
"Yes?"  
" we have had to switch theatres for Mr Whitcombes procedure later, Dr Grange won't be able to join in theatre so we have a locum anaesthetist by the name of Alex Dawson filling the breach and Sacha Levy and myself will be there to help a hand if you so wish the need to offset the pressure"

Silence filled the room as Serena and Bernie stared at each other above their screens

"Everything ok" Hansen stated reading the silence and noticing the sudden change of atmosphere  
Serena quickly looked at Hansen "yes... yes everything is good... that's good... yes well... I'm sure we will manage.. You know me henrik.. on the ball as ever"

Bernie stared at her screen feeling her cheeks flushed and suddenly noticing her pulse quickening 

"Right ladies... as you were" and with that Hansen turned on his heels and out the door onto the ward he walked

Bernie could feel Serenas eyes on her

"Alex Dawson" Serenas words pierced her ears 

"Let's not... go there" Bernie replied still looking at her screen

"But....." Serena interrupted  
"No.... no... there's nothing to talk about Serena... I'm busy I need to go see Dr Digby..." with that Bernie bolted out the door leaving Serena alone 

Oh how the difference a few hours can make... one minute they were laughing and joking in Serenas house, in their bubble and now back in the real world it wasn't going to be plain sailing

Serenas phone vibrated, picking it up she received a message from Jason

'Auntie Serena I'm back at 3:30 this afternoon shall I come and meet you at work?

'Yes Jason, that would be lovely, Ive missed you'

'I've missed you to Auntie Serena, see you later on at 3:30'

With that Serena picked up a stack of files and proceeded out the office hoping to catch Bernie and try to talk to her about Alex... but was she going to break her barriers down and let her in?


	8. Facing fears head on

Serena traced the corridors in the hope of seeing Bernie, she really was so concerned about the imminent arrival of Alex Dawson and the effect it may have on Bernie.  
................

Bernie leant against her car outside puffing away on her cigerette...  
Deep inhales... long stresses exhales...  
"Alex bloody Dawson!" She mumbled under her breath...

"You called?" A voice behind her appeared  
Bernie spun round, stood in front of her was Alex, tall, beautiful, strong Alex.

"Alex" Bernie said surprisingly, " I did here you would be in holby today"

"Is that why your out here puffing away like a car exhaust?!" Alex said sarcastically...  
Bernie was lost for words, she just didn't know what to say... she just wanted and prayed this, today would stay professional, small talk just wasn't Bernies way... 

"I....I better go in" bernie said looking at the floor as she threw her fag end down.

Alex watched Bernie walk across the car park, clearly things would be different between them compared to the 'intimate' past they shared but watching her walk away from her, just leaving her stood there did hurt Alex. She was so used to Bernie always being by her side, having her back, protecting her, looking out for her, supporting her. Yet here she was, abandoned.

Bernie entered the hospital and into the lift, as soon as the doors shut she let out a huge sigh, holding her hand out to lean against the side of the lift as though to steady herself.  
We've all been there, two people can part, a relationship can break down either part on good terms or bad terms or terms where you had once considered hiring a hit man to kill them but realise you love wifi to much to spend it in prison!  
But when you see that person again after time has passed, we all still get 'a feeling', either a raging sickly feeling of anger or even feel the feelings you first felt when you got together and are no more

Love and relationships have many mysterious ways and reactions on the human body  
Bernie was now faced with the woman she had to let go whilst Alex was faced with the woman she loved and was rejected by  
In the lift, it was those feelings that made Bernie feel suddenly unsure of herself. Bernie knew they couldn't be together, the army was a world away from day to day nhs life. Bernie had developed a beautiful friendship and close relationship with Serena and it was Serena her heart was for. Seeing Alex again reminded her of the fun times they shared, Bernies first same sex experiences & excitements ... she shared that with Alex and that will always be something Bernie would treasure but the thought of having to work with her again really was going to be a tough one

"Get it together, you stupid idiot" she said to herself.

The lift doors opened...  
"Ahhh there you are!" A voice broke Bernies deep thought..  
"Serena" Bernie quickly said acknowledging her presence  
"You ok?" Serena questioned with a raised brow, noticing Bernies body language  
"Er... yes ... yes... I'm fine I just needed some fresh air" she said as she stepped out of the lift.  
They walked the corridor onto the ward and into the office.  
"Bernie?" Serena said cautiously, "if you want to sit out in theatre I'm sure I can get sacha levy to stand in for you, you know....,if it's going to be too much?" 

Bernie sat back in her chair, elbows on the sides, hands clasped in her lap, lips tight together...

"Forgive me for prying Bernie but I can't help notice your change of mood since Hansen came in and mentioned Alex, is it the thought of seeing her again or wether old feelings may float to the surface?" 

Bernies eyes raised and stared straight at Serena also noticing Serenas concern etched across her face..  
Bernie jumped out of her chair, moved over to Serenas side, pulled up a chair and grabbed Serenas hand.

"I'm so stupid Serena, here's me moping around wallowing in my own self indulged misery and haven't even thought how you must be feeling.... I'm so sorry"

"It's ok it's ok, I'm just concerned about you that's all Bernie"

Bernie looked down at the desk.."I've seen her" .... "Alex, outside before"

"How did that go for you?" Serena questioned 

"It didn't.... barely spoke, made my excuses and came back in"  
"Please don't think Serena that my behaviour is because I have any feelings there or questioning any decisions I may of made in ending it with Alex" 

"Right?...." Serena confusingly answered 

"Its just we were so close at one point and then circumstances changed, led me here and I walked away from her with a phone call... cowardly I know but then there are a lot of things I've done which I wish I could change how I've handled them, probably the way in which I ended it yes but I don't regret my decision... I just didn't expect it to be this difficult in facing her let alone work alongside her"

Serena put her hands on Bernies, Bernie raised her eyes to look at Serena ..

"I'm beside you all the way, you have my support" Serena said assuring her.

"Thank you Serena, I'll be fine... i feel much better talking to you, I really need to learn to open up a bit more, I'm just so used to having an issue and carrying on, one of the good old army phrases eh, keep calm and carry on

"I do.... care about you, you know" Serena said looking at Bernies sullen face..

Bernie smiled... "and I do you"

"Right!!" Bernie said boldly standing up straight "let's get this day over and done with, I hope there is a bottle of wine at hand tonight?... I need something to look forward to!" 

" ah.ha... funny you should say that Ms Wolfe" Serena chuckled " Jason is meeting me here at 3:30, I finish at 4 as I've got to work extra hours next week so we are celebrating this rarity with a Chinese if you care to join us?"

" my shift doesn't finish till 7 but I can come round after that if you wish?"

"I'd like that" Serena said with that big smile and glowing cheeks

"Lets get down to theatre and scrubbed in, the sooner we get this done the closer I am to sharing a glass with the delightful woman standing in front of me" Bernie said shyly, giving Serena a look of wonder.

If the heat between them was anything to go by then 5 fire extinguishers and fire blankets wouldn't put the fire out!


End file.
